Post transplant recovery is probably the worst part of this whole experience.  Sounds wierd doesn’t it?  Shouldn’t the worst part be the open heart surgery, or the transplant itself?  In the big scheme of things yes, but in my reality I was asleep for all of that in drug induced lala land.

I know that everyday I’m getting stronger and that everyday my body is making progress.  All the nurses and doctors are telling me how amazing I look and how great my recovery is going.  While all this is true, I must say I feel like crap.  Recovery sucks.

My feelings and physical strength varies hour by hour, and just when I think i’m doing better I feel like I’m taking a step back.  I try and appreciate and validate all the little things in between that show signs of progress to boost my spirits.  Yesterday I discovered that I now have the strength to scoot myself backwards in the chair or bed without the use of my arms.  I was able to walk up the stairs to my apartment more easily than the day before.  It’s seriously the little things in life.

One of my biggest hurdles right now is finding a comfortable position to sleep. It feels so much harder to breath when i’m laying flat.  I tried to sleep on my side last night but that didn’t last more than a couple of hours.  Today my sister bought me a wedge pillow for my bed so I’m going to try it out and hope it goes well. Nothing is worse than going through a day sleep deprived.  Being sleep deprived when I was healthy was awful.  Being sleep deprived after a transplant is ten times worse.

I have 4 – 5 more weeks until my sternum heals. I’m anxious to get to the stage in my recovery where I can sleep and be active more comfortably.  Must look ahead and take everything one day at a time.